This would be way more educational if it went 100 km/h and spun you upside down. (Photo: Fort Edmonton Park)
I’ve decided to write another letter to the editor after a few weeks pause. Don’t worry, edmontonian editors, it’s nothing you’ve done – although I was very close to complaining about how you deep-fried olives with pits.
No, I’ve been on vacation. And you know what? It was great.
Vacations are great because you get to see how other cities are run and see what can be improved in our great city. Without further ado, I present the master plan I’ve learnt from some of the cities I’ve visited: amusement rides in educational places.
Yes, I’m talking about educational roller coasters.
We’ve all ridden on one or two emotional roller coasters in our lives, and I’m sure we’ve learnt something. But educational roller coasters (and other rides) will teach children (and adults) about the subject while letting them have fun!
By now you’re possibly thinking: ‘But Janine, how does this relate to Edmonton?.’ Ah, yes. I’m thinking Fort Edmonton Park.
I know, I know, it’s all about the olden times – but stick with me here. Do our children care about the olden days? No, they really couldn’t care less. These children demand Spongebob. They want Wiggles. They want bright colours and flashy things. So let’s give them what they want and have a great time doing it.
Here are my proposed upgrades to Fort Edmonton Park:
1. In the Fort itself, no one wants to see a big coaster ripping through the settlers cabins. BUT who doesn’t love Turbo Ride? We build a small building (to look old, of course) by the lookout tower behind the main house. People go inside and get to experience what it was REALLY like to live during the fur trade times, to hunt buffalo, or to canoe down the old North
Saskatchewan River. Watch old pioneers chop wood, and truly experience a ride through the prairies. Live through a ride on the big York boat, all while ‘surrounded’ by accurate depictions of the people of the times.
2. 1885 Street, the Settlement Era would be the perfect place for a giant wooden roller coaster. Think about how delightful it would be to see people riding on rollercoaster cars shaped like covered wagons. The ride wouldn’t go upside down, but it could go underground, in a tunnel. Inside the tunnel
would be video images and a voice telling people about the time period.
Thrills AND learning! Perhaps there could be a splash section. The photos
taken of people on the ride would be in black and white, naturally.
Elsewhere on the ride would be sections about the establishment of telegraph
and printing mediums, as well as information on the North West Rebellion of
1885. sure, you might have to ride the ride a few times for all the
information to sink in… but that stimulates Edmonton’s economy.
3. For 1905 Street, we’re going to build a maze – made of tents! As
Edmonton boomed, there wasn’t enough places for people to live – so they
lived in a tent city. We’ll symbolize the tent city by creating the maze,
and making people experience it by getting a card when they enter the maze,
and needing to stamp it in 8 different tents set up in the maze. One tent
will hold information about the forming of the University of Alberta in
1908, there’s also the Rutherford House, Streetcar, and tons of other
potential information to put in the tents. Who doesn’t love a good maze?
Those are just three of my many ideas. I haven’t even mentioned the carnival
and carnival games, the house of Oddities, or Shake Shack.
After reading my comments, you might ask how I’m qualified to make these
suggestions. Well fear not, fellow edmontonian readers, I’m a professional.
I’ve ridden my fair share of rides AND I’ve played many a successful game of
Roller Coaster Tycoon. Rest assured, I’ve thought this through. If we want
to be a world class city, we need amusement rides in our educational parks.
Perhaps next time we’ll look at having Dodgems, Tilt-a-Whirls, and the
Zipper at the Muttart Conservatory.
- Janine Edwards, Edmonton
(Editor’s note: After earlier terse letters from Janine, we’re glad she’s eased up on us and just given her opinion on something else.)
