DO IT. do it.

I know, I know. I’m putting these up far too late in the day for you guys to fritter away the last hour of your day tweetering or bloggering with your pals about how to spend the weekend.

I never do the events, and probably for good reason.  And when I do, Samsonow has set the bar so high, I can’t possibly live up to it.  You guys are all:

“It’s more comprehesive when Jeff does it.”

“It’s funnier when Jeff does it.”

“It’s up earlier when Jeff does it.”

LOOK, Jeff’s not here.  If he really loved you, he would be.  But he’s off with his other blogging family.  And unless you want me to leave you too, you’ll take these events and like them.

First, obviously, Marty Chan’s gut wrenching play “The Bone House,” which is over at the Arts Barns. It’s only on until November 7th – then it goes back into the Disney vaults forever. : (

Next, tonight is also Hopscotch: A Festival of Fine Whisky & Beer, at the Winspear Centre. Yeah, I thought you’d like that, you bunch of lushes.

And Sonic Band of the Month Parachute Penguin (best posters ever, btw) is playing the Pawn Shop tonight (although at the time of writing, the Pawn Shop website is down).  5 buck cover.

Saturday, from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.: “Get Animated” workshop at The Artery, with Oscar winner Chris Landreth.

Propaghandi! Propaghandi! Catch them Saturday & Sunday night at the Starlite Room.

A shout out to my ladies at Eville Roller Derby.  They’re hosting their Rocktoberfest Showdown between Los Pistolitas and The Slice Girls on Saturday night at the Kingsway Hangar.

Stephanie Bosch’s CD release, Saturday night at Haven Social Club.

You loved him in “Employee of the Month”; he won your heart in “Dan in Real Life” and now you can pay an obscene price for scalped tickets to see Dane Cook on Sunday night, 8 p.m.

Ooh, also, since we all love jazz now, might I recommend the Youth Emergency Shelter Fundraiser at the Yardbird Suite on Sunday night, featuring the Sandro Dominelli Trio.

What else have you guys got going on?