Sunny Summer Movies (But still sassy)

Gregg Beever drinking a cosmopolitanGood News Edmontonianites, Jeff has given the go ahead for me to bring the movie thunder each and every month! That’s twelve times a year by my count!

As promised I’ve included the directors, actors as well as writers of each film to go along with my musings.

If you have any suggestions on how to make the Edmontonian’s monthly movie preview better, or if you just think I’m sexy, leave a comment.

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The Last Airbender – July 2nd

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Writer: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring: Noah Ringer, Jackson Rathbone, Nicola Peltz

It is getting tough to remember when last M. Night Shyamalan directed a movie not riddled with plot holes, or suffering a completely ridiculous concept.

Those who had the misfortune of watching The Happening know all about Shyamalan and misguided concepts. Thrill as Marky Mark runs way from the wind! The leaves are rustling slightly! Flee! Flee!

Perhaps fond memories of M. Night Shyamalan remain with me after all these years, because I still get a little excited about his projects. After all, The Sixth Sense was great, right? Sooner or later he’s got to turn in another Unbreakable, right?

Don’t hold my breath?

Potential for Awesome?

The Last Airbender certainly looks pretty. The trailer shows off a fantastic live-action translation of the anime-inspired battles seen in the original animated series, which leaves me at least hopeful. But that’s all; hopeful.

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Predators – July 9th

Director: Nimród Antal

Writers: Alex Litvak, Michael Finch

Starring: Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, Laurence Fishburne, Walton Goggins, Alice Braga

Unlike the Alien movies, the Predator hasn’t suffered from a severe case of too-many-sequels. You could argue the Alien vs. Predator films count as poorly constructed follow-ups, but they are more like bad spin-offs, or direct to DVD sequels.

While I don’t mind reboots or re-imaginings of old franchises, these movies are tough to pull off; just ask the creative teams behind the remakes of Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street.

It is especially difficult in the sci-fi genre. We nerds are extremely critical, and if your film does not equal the awe and inspiration of the original we will tear your movie to pieces.

Somehow Predators has to live up to everything that made the original a success.

But how could it?

Really, your first experience has the wonder of a new story, the first instant you fall in love with the characters, that will always be the most compelling time. No retelling is going to live up to that initial experience. Directors can only look to turn an old story on it’s head to find some of that wonder and magic again; the way J. J. Abrams did with Star Trek.

Potential for Awesome?

Has Nimród Antal found a way to turn the Predator on it’s head? Predators certainly has a strong cast, and the story is spun a bit and set on the Predator’s home world, which at the very least has got my attention.

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Despicable Me – July 9th

Directors: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Writers: Ken Daurio, Sergio Pablos, Cinco Paul

Starring: Russell Brand, Jason Segel, Steve Carell, Will Arnett, Ken Jeong, Kirsten Wiig

I’m not sure when it became necessary for a movie to have 4 official trailers, but Despicable Me has at least that many, not counting “featurettes.”

Movie trailers follow a pattern, first is the “teaser” which is usually quite short and often uses footage not found in the final cut. I’m not sure when the teaser became standard advertising practice, but the earliest example I can remember is the misguided remake of Godzilla way, way back in 1998. Remember? There was some dopey museum guide giving children a dinosaur exhibit tour when suddenly Godzilla’s foot crashes down from the roof, crushing the bones of a T-rex.

The teaser is followed by the first official trailer, which includes footage from the film, but reveals almost nothing about the plot. Plot details are handled by the third trailer, by which time you are starting to think maybe you have seen too much and the movie feels somewhat spoiled. The fourth trailer completely spoils the film and you have lost all interest in seeing it.

Potential for Awesome?

Where was I? Oh yes, Despicable Me. It looks funny, has a sharp cast and I have yet to see a bad Jason Segel flick; should be worth the admission.

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The Sorcerer’s Apprentice – July 14th

Director: Jon Turteltaub

Writers: Doug Miro, Carlo Bernard, Matt Lopez

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Teresa Palmer, Monica Bellucci, Alfred Molina

Do I classify this film as a remake, retelling, or just a movie based on a poem?

Disney has had major success with odd-ball properties, building a movie franchise out of a theme park ride, for example. Disney goes back to the well (sort of) with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, hoping to score, once again, off the German poem of the same name. This time we get Nicolas Cage instead of Mickey Mouse.

Potential for Awesome?

If we use Rotten Tomatoes as a Nicolas Cage barometer we find his movies over the last five years average out to a score of 44.8%. We can the infer that the chances of enjoying his newest opus are about 50/50. Of course, the only Nic Cage movie since 2006 to receive a rating higher than 50% was Kick-Ass at 76%, so I’d say your chances of enjoyment are more like one in five.

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Inception – July 16th

Director: Christopher Nolan

Writer: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe

At this point you might be thinking “Hey, Gregg, all you do is fecally deposit all over every movie before I see it…so…stop it!” Well, good news, cause I’ll deposit nothing but high praise for the latest work from the Dark Knight mastermind.

Inception has a strong cast full of actors I dig in Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, and, of course Leo. Couple acting talent with an imaginative, sci-fi screen play and I say “here’s my money Mr. Nolan!”

Quick point of interest; does anyone remember the days when teenage girls swooned over Leo like they swoon over the crooked face of Robert Pattison today?

Potential for Awesome?

Inception will be fun and thought provoking, count on it.

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Salt – July 23th

Director:  Phillip Noyce

Writer: Kurt Wimmer

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Angelina Jolie plays Evelyn Salt, a loyal CIA officer who is accused of being a Russian Spy planning to assassinate the president of the United States. Salt is on the run to clear her name, blah, blah, blah…

All you need to know is that Chiwetel Ejiofor, the brilliant villain from Joss Whedon’s Serenity, is in this film. That should be enough to get you in the seats.

Potential for Awesome?

In case you think I’m over selling Ejiofor, which is certainly possible, writer Kurt Wimmer also wrote The Thomas Crown Affair and the bizarre Equilibrium. Those aren’t stellar films, but certainly movies worth a watch, as Salt will likely be.

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Valhalla Rising – July 23th

Director:  Nicolas Winding Refn

Writers: Roy Jacobsen, Nicolas Winding Refn

Starring: Mads Mikkelsen

Valhalla Rising tells the story of One Eye, a mute warrior of “supernatural strength” according to IMDB. Imprisoned by a Norse chieftain, One Eye violently escapes with the help of a young boy and the two soon find themselves on a Viking vessel headed for strange, unknown lands.

Potential for Awesome?

It doesn’t take much more than blood soaked swords to get my ass in the theater. I sat through Robin Hood; case in point. Also, Valhalla Rising was filmed entirely in Scotland. Having fallen in love with the country during my European excursion three years ago, I am even more intrigued.

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Dinner for Schmucks – July 23th

Director: Jay Roach

Writers: David Guion, Michael Handelman

Starring: Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Jemaine Clement, Zach Galifianakis, Larry Wilmore, Stephanie Szostak

I love the versatility of Steve Carell, who played the lovable shmuck in 40 Year Old Virgin, the schmuck spy in Get Smart, the schmuck boss in the Office…okay, you see what I’m getting at.

I guess there’s no point in any guess work when it comes to a Steve Carell film, you might as well just call it Shmucks.

Potential for Awesome?

Let’s see If I can guess the plot to this movie. Paul Rudd meets Steve Carell and thinks he is an awkward boob. Rudd decides to take advantage of Carell for personal gain, but along the way discovers what a great guy he is underneath his annoying, socially inept exterior. In the end the two become best of friends.

Oh, and there is probably also a subplot involving Steve Carell inadvertently ruining Paul Rudd’s relationship with his girlfriend/wife.

Let me know how I did.

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SHOWING AT THE GARNEAU/PRINCESS IN JULY

Cyrus – July 9th – Garneauedmonton, princess theatre, movies

Directors: Jay Duplass, Mark Duplass

Writers: Jay Duplass, Mark Duplass

Starring: John C. Reilly, Jonah Hill, Marisa Tomei, Catherine Keener

Gregg says: Marisa Tomei? I’m there!

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The Girl Who Played with Fire – July 9th – Princess

Directors: Daniel Alfredson

Writer:  Jonas Frykberg, Stieg Larsson

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Nyqvist

Gregg says: This Swedish film about sex trafficking looks all kinds of disturbing.

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Solitary Man – July 23rd – Garneau/Princess (can’t confirm which)

Directors: Brian Koppelman, David Levien

Writer: Brian Koppelman

Starring: Michael Douglas, Susan Sarandon, Danny DeVito, Mary-Louise Parker, Jenna Fischer

Gregg says: I dig Michael Douglas as the lovable asshole.

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Gregg Beever is indeed going to be telling you all about the movies coming out each month. And he still owes Sally some payback for that whole Sex and the City 2 thing.

2 Responses to “Sunny Summer Movies (But still sassy)”

  1. sally says:

    you’re right about the annoying multiple trailers thing. do you know how hard i’ve worked to dodge all the trailers for despicable me? i actually want to see it without it being spoiled.

  2. Gregg says:

    Especially with comedies, four trailers spoil way too many jokes.