A couple of weeks ago I began to make the case that Edmonton needs a Spaceport. You are probably wondering, “What does this half-brained twit mean by ‘Spaceport’?”
Well, let me tell you something, I’ve been thinking and plotting this for months, which means I am using at least 67% of my brain.
By Spaceport, I don’t just mean a place for UFOs to dock, beam up cattle, zap drive-thru’s and then scurry off again. In my Spacevision, the Edmonton Spaceport will be a economic, industrial and educational facility that will focus on both Earth-based AND non-earth-based space vehicles.
Picture it if you will: The soft blinking lights of rockets and hypershuttles as they slowly descend over the wintry Edmonton skyline and land at the Spaceport, where weary space travelers can sit down, grab a Samsonowich, and wait for dozens of highly trained Space-engineers to repair and refuel their Space-vehicles. The Spaceport will also be a departure point for all Space-vehicles built right here in Edmonton; for rapid earth space travel, for those wanting to fly to Calgary in five minutes, or for longer-term flights to the Moon, Mars and Tijuana.
And where might these highly trained Space-Engineers come from? Well from the Edmonton Center for Space Learning, Know-How and Technology (ECSLKT for short!). Located on the Spaceport grounds, ECSLKT will attract adventurers from around world to train to be Hypersonic propulsion electro-technicians, subspace atomic engineers, Turbotronic Lightspeed Pilots, and space-waffle cooks.
Not only will the Edmonton Spaceport be a centre for learning and education, but at the Fillion Spaceyard, the Spaceport will also provide Edmonton with a tremendous centre of industrial economic activity. The Spaceyards will employ 1000s upon 1000s of highly-trained men and women, building Space-vehicles and Space-vehicle components; from low gravity landing gear, Zero Gravity Big Gulp holders, to full-sized Constitution class starships. This will generate billions in economic activity for Edmonton every year, so much so, we won’t even notice when the Tarsands are shut down in 2011.
The best part about having a Spaceport? No longer will Edmonton have to search for an identity. We will be Canada’s, nay, The Earth’s Space Capital.
Need a new slogan? How about “Space City.” Need a name for the Exhibition? How about “Space Days.” Want to jazz up the skyline? Well, think of how dazzling it will look when all manner of Starships are lighting up the Edmonton horizon.
So tell your neighbour, text your grandmother, sing to your elected representatives, that you have a vision for Edmonton, for its present, for its future.
Tell them you have a vision.
And it’s a Spacevision.
Colin MacIntyre has far to much time on his hands. You can listen to him ramble about other nonsense on CJSR’s “Makin Whoopee,” Tuesday mornings from 7am to 9am, on-demand at HYPERLINK, or on iTunes. You can follow him at your own peril on Twitter.
This seems less ridiculous than allowing it to return to general aviation.
With only hours left to vote, I demand to know who – WHO? – is the pro-spaceport mayoral candidate?