You should be telling your partner that you love them every day of the year. However, if not paying regard to this Hallmark waste-of-time will leave your significant other red, with anger, here are some affordable gift suggestions for those of you who would like to get laid once a year. And the other 364 too.
1. For those of us who like to think they’re Martha Stewart (minus the jail time…usually), try the “Clone a Willy Kit.” Interesting that this product came out around the same time Maratha got released from prison. Great toy, and also great souvenir if the relationship doesn’t last. Try explaining that one to your new partner though… For those of you who don’t have something to clone, why not make your own? Carrots, bananas, cucumbers, those fun little vibrating pens, the sky’s the limit for “perverted” minds. Get creative, but make sure you use a condom to avoid infections
2. Screw plush animals made by children in China. They should be having childhood, not making some teddy bear that will get about five seconds of play time. Instead, get a real one and train it to be your hired hit man to knock off your enemies. Just kidding. The World Wildlife Federation does has a great program in which you can “adopt” an animal though. Pick a Panda, Dugong or a butterfly (yes they even have butterflies) and get a framed photo of your new baby (are you sure that’s MY butterfly? They all look the same.) a stuffed animal and more. I’m holding out for the day when they have crabs available so I can say “I thought of you when I saw this.”
3. Make a play list. Mixtapes…what are those? Video may have killed the radio start, but the iPod definitely killed cassettes. So for this season, make a play list for someone’s mp3 player using the site Stereo Mood. This is an awesome (free to listen) program to check out new beats. They have playlists for every mood or feeling possible with the ability to customize, send, and buy.
4. Make your own chocolate bar at chocomize. Although not available in Canada yet, this website is a great base for ideas on what to add, and it’s easy to copy. Just buy a few dark chocolate Lindt bars, melt ’em down and customize your creating. Cinnamon, chili and sea salt? OK! Or, how about cornflakes and gummy bears? Maybe only if you’re six…
That’s all for now Edmonton. Keep it real! Love, LMC.