Photo: Brittney Le Blanc

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I read a Hardy Boys book or 20 in my day. But I don’t know if I ever read The Viking Symbol Mystery, which involves a trip through the prairies, and Edmonton, to the Northwest Territories.

It would only be better if it involved a trip to Viking, Alberta.

Anybody know if this was the only mystery that took the Boys through Alberta?

Ah, tipping. One of those societal items that can spark debate, anger, mistrust, and leave service staff smiling or fuming.

Way back at some point you heard about Steve Dublanica’s “Waiter Rant,” a bestselling book about being a waiter and bringing food to others, right here at this web log.

Well, I’m not sure how the Internet tubes work, but that somehow made its way to New York City, and a senior marketing manager, and yadda, yadda, yadda, we’ve got some free books for you.

Dublanica has followed up Waiter Rant with “Keep the Change: A clueless tipper’s quest to become the guru of the gratuity” – which is all about tips, tipping, and what those on the receiving end of our tips think about us. (Heck, we’ve all worked service jobs, we know what we think of them too.) Dublanica goes through various businesses and industries; wait staff, hotel staff, mechanics, baristas, bartenders, the people cutting your hair, driving your cabs, moving and delivering your stuff, even strippers and bathroom attendants.

So, basically, once you finish the book you will be a tipping genius. (Which, one would hope, would equal the best possible service.)

But, because we always want to make sure you’re paying attention, how about you drop some great “tip” stories into the comments and I enter y’all in a draw. We’ve got 3 copies of  Keep the Change for you. And, hey, if you want to have a conversation about gratuities we’re up for that too.

Just remember to leave us a nice tip.

*I’ll pull names on Thursday afternoon, say around 4pm. You can’t have won anything from us in the last 30 days. (Not even if you slip us a $20.)

There wasn't enough room for me to accurately plot Edmonton on this map image.

First off, no, I’m not sure how to pronounce Dzanc. But we’re going to live in the world of print right now and not worry about how to pronounce things. (If you know, please let me know.)

“Dzanc” is a publisher of short stories and fiction, and a monthly journal.

They also hold an annual day of creative writing workshops across America.

Why the heck would I be talking about them?

That’s a good question.

Well, Edmonton’s Jason Norman just made Dzanc Day continent-wide.

Jason, being a writer, and one of the minds behind literary journal “Wufniks,” contacted Dzanc Books and asked about hosting a workshop in our northern city.

“I didn’t need an idea of what to actually teach for 2 hours right away, which was good because I didn’t have an idea yet,” Jason writes in an e-mail. “I just knew I wanted to help out and connect with writers from the city.”

As I mentioned, this event, happening Saturday at the Stanley A. Milner Library, is the only Canadian location in 2011.

“On their website they have a little map with pins for each workshop and mine is waaaaayyy up north. I was told that there would be a couple in Toronto but they were cancelled earlier on.”

Yes! Jason’s finally put Edmonton on this map we hear so much about.

Anyway… if you pay this fine young writer $30 on Saturday, what will you get for that money?

You’re full of questions today.

“So at the Milner on April 9th it will hopefully be a room full of writers of different skill levels and ages… We don’t have the kind of time to really analyze each other’s works in progress so we’ll all start at the same stage of looking at writing the way writers should. Looking at what works and what doesn’t in works of short fiction,” Jason explains.

“I’ll also be teaching them some of the tips and other things I’ve learned as I’ve studied writing under some very successful authors. Right now I’m very focused on short fiction writing and flash fiction writing. Making a piece effective under 2000 or even 1000 words takes a lot of skill in knowing what to edit out of your story but also what exactly to tell the reader and how. Short fiction at that length can also be quite fun to write. I want to show writers who may not be familiar with that type of fiction how rewarding it can be, as well as challenging.”

Now I know you’re interested. Because there have to be a few short fiction writers here somewhere.

“I know they’re around here. There are writers everywhere,” Jason continues. “I’ve been working very hard to try and get in touch with them, not only about my workshop but also about my creative writing magazine ‘Wufniks’ which I hope to have another issue of published this spring.”

“There is a wealth of short fiction on the Internet right now and Dzanc is a big part of promoting that with their Best of the Web collection that they publish annually. For me, I am desperately trying to get these shy local writers out from under the rocks or books that they are hiding under. If there’s anything I can do to help the local writing community grow and thrive, I will do it. Writers need other writers, either for support or for inspiration but also for workshops like this where they can gather and really learn about the work that goes into what we do. Nobody understands that more than other writers.”

If you’re a writer, I suggest you consider spending a few hours this Saturday at Dzanc Day 2011.

This week, as I prepare to figure out which mayoral candidate would win a wet t-shirt contest, I just have one question. Who writes all these crappy relationship books?

I just picked up a book from the EPL entitled ” Men Are Like Waffles. Women Are Like Spaghetti.” (And Atkins must be rolling round in his grave.) With more than 200, 000 copies sold, however, perhaps I shouldn’t be asking who writes this junk, but who reads this stuff?

Next year I’m writing the sequel to this book, a less carby version; “Men Are Like Sausage, Women Are Like Bacon” and I expect it to be a New York Times Bestseller.

Until next week Edmonton, keep it smart, single, and sexy and don’t forget to follow the elections, even if the winner is quite obvious.

Little Miss Curious is the edmontonian’s sexiest writer (sorry Gregg Beever) and we can’t thank her enough for the Right Said Fred.

Wait! There's a DVD?

By Little Miss Curious

Being a sexy nerd, I do admit books make the best lovers.

Here are a few I’ve been pondering over the last few days.

“Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss.”

Well, apparently I’ve been ending 75% of my dates the wrong way. I have to admit, I was a little puzzled why they had such glum expressions as they walked me to the door…

And with school starting, I’m a little concerned about some of the books are children are reading, especially the new Dr. Seuss ones.

With titles such as “I Love the Nightlife,” “Show me they Honey,” and “Ice is Nice” I’m wondering whatever happened to “Sam, Sam, Sam I am…I do not like Green Eggs and Ham!”

Instead it’s more like “I love my crack, I love my ho, show me the money and I’ll give you some blow!” Awesome!

I’ve already picked up double copies for my nieces to promote a healthy street education.

Until next time Edmonton, Keep it smart single and sexy, I’m Little Miss Curious!

(Editor’s note: Probably Little Miss Curious’ first safe for work post. Don’t forget to get your dealbreakers in, because, as mentioned before, Little Miss Curious is working on a post about those.)

From the snowsuits we're fairly sure they're talking about winter.

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