As you can see from the cellphone video above, I had to stay on the main level of the movie theatre. Why? Why wouldn’t I venture up toward the IMAX level and get right up in that scaly beast’s fiery nostrils?

James Cameron. That’s why.

You people helped ruin a little girl's day.

You see, up there is where Avatar is showing forever. And people, two months in, were still lining up an hour+ before showtime. Because of that, the staff at the theatre wouldn’t let anybody upstairs. I guess they were afraid I brought my 3D glasses from home.

You know, they could have just put a staff member in front of the theatre door.

They should have, because a little girl and her mom tried to get a closer to the dragon. No dice, said the 15-year-old keeper of the velvet rope.

James Cameron may never have slayed a dragon (outside of CGI) but he slayed that child’s chances at seeing something pretty cool, up close.

Thank goodness Nicolas Sparks has what it takes to slay the monster that is Avatar. Children of the world will soon be able to get close enough to our dragon that their eyebrows may be singed, just a little.