Little Miss Curious’ last minute Valentines
Well Edmontonians, if you haven’t gotten a gift for today, because you don’t need to I applaud you. Valentine’s Day is pretty commercial and can be a time and money waster. If you need a gift, however, and you forgot to get something, that may be another story. Skip the flowers, the Hallmark and the cheap chocolates. Here are a few quick last minute suggestions.
- Traveling Tickle Trunk is CLOSED on Mondays! So picking up a toy may be a little bit tricky. Take a peek at their online store to see what’s available and just say “It’s coming!!!”
- Kerstins IS open today. Go forth and pick up some top-quality chocolate!
- I was in Chapters the other day and they have a lot of great books on the Kama Sutra. Sadly not the pop-up ones, but most had pretty good pictures.
- Buy a bong and get a thong…classy!
Good luck. May the force be with you. And for all you single people out there, it’s just another day of the year with an even better day following it; February 15 is truly awesome because all the chocolate goes on sale.
Love LMC.
Little Miss Curious Clones some Willies
It’s almost the most useless day of the year…that’s right…Valentine’s Day. I’m sure some of you choose not to celebrate, and, what is there to celebrate anyway?
You should be telling your partner that you love them every day of the year. However, if not paying regard to this Hallmark waste-of-time will leave your significant other red, with anger, here are some affordable gift suggestions for those of you who would like to get laid once a year. And the other 364 too.
1. For those of us who like to think they’re Martha Stewart (minus the jail time…usually), try the “Clone a Willy Kit.” Interesting that this product came out around the same time Maratha got released from prison. Great toy, and also great souvenir if the relationship doesn’t last. Try explaining that one to your new partner though… For those of you who don’t have something to clone, why not make your own? Carrots, bananas, cucumbers, those fun little vibrating pens, the sky’s the limit for “perverted” minds. Get creative, but make sure you use a condom to avoid infections
2. Screw plush animals made by children in China. They should be having childhood, not making some teddy bear that will get about five seconds of play time. Instead, get a real one and train it to be your hired hit man to knock off your enemies. Just kidding. The World Wildlife Federation does has a great program in which you can “adopt” an animal though. Pick a Panda, Dugong or a butterfly (yes they even have butterflies) and get a framed photo of your new baby (are you sure that’s MY butterfly? They all look the same.) a stuffed animal and more. I’m holding out for the day when they have crabs available so I can say “I thought of you when I saw this.”
3. Make a play list. Mixtapes…what are those? Video may have killed the radio start, but the iPod definitely killed cassettes. So for this season, make a play list for someone’s mp3 player using the site Stereo Mood. This is an awesome (free to listen) program to check out new beats. They have playlists for every mood or feeling possible with the ability to customize, send, and buy.
4. Make your own chocolate bar at chocomize. Although not available in Canada yet, this website is a great base for ideas on what to add, and it’s easy to copy. Just buy a few dark chocolate Lindt bars, melt ‘em down and customize your creating. Cinnamon, chili and sea salt? OK! Or, how about cornflakes and gummy bears? Maybe only if you’re six…
That’s all for now Edmonton. Keep it real! Love, LMC.
Little Miss Curious is awesome
Before I start out, I’d just like to point out that Movember is almost over, thank goodness. Half of you were beginning to look like you drive a cube van and wear trench coats. Apparently, November 18 is “Sleep With a Man With a Moustache” day. But that’s only a rumor…
As I freeze my ass off despite the extra 10 pounds of clothing I have on, I’ve started doing a little looksie at what’s popular for Christmas. We don’t really celebrate in my family, but I’m always curious to see what other people are buying for the holiday season.
If anyone hasn’t seen, or read, it yet, “The Book of Awesome” is one of Amazon’s top-sellers. When I reserved it from the library I ended up being number 220 in line, but thankfully they have about 40 copies now so I didn’t have to wait that long. But to be honest, it wasn’t worth the wait. Quite frankly it sucked. “High-fiving babies,” “the first scoop of peanut butter out of the jar”? I’m not so sure how awesome these things are on a daily basis. I mean, they probably grow old after awhile.
I decided to come up with my own list of awesome. (more…)
Little Miss Curious buys a car…and moves to the suburbs…and…ugh…
In the past few months, the pressure has been stronger then ever to change the way I live my life. Lately it feels like I’ve been living in a bubble, a really awesome one mind you, but a bubble nonetheless. I don’t own a TV, listen to the radio, or read the newspaper most days. I know that if something dreadful was to happen it would be splashed all over my Facebook, but lately I haven’t been following that much either. I do read the BBC when I get up in the morning, but other then that I feel relatively unfazed by my immediate surroundings.
The people I hang around with are like me. Well educated, young, ambitious, traveled, versed in the 69 sex positions, and I also like to say attractive but that’s in the eye of the beholder. I work two jobs, but both of them allow me freedom to pursue other creative outlets so I am able to follow my dreams. I am grateful for every little thing in my life, I believe each moment is special.
I have no debt. Instead, I have stocks, GICs, bonds, and an emergency fund to fall back on in case anything happens. Coming from a single parent family I knew the value of a dollar at a very young age and started saving for my university education when I was four-years-old. I know money doesn’t mean everything, and even if I had none I would still be so thankful, because life can be so much worse.
I don’t have kids, and don’t have a mortgage. I don’t own a car, and choose not to drink. Not because I think it’s wrong, but like drugs, I think it’s a waste of my time, money, and brain cells. And being sloppy in public has never been an appealing thought, in my head. My sex life is always fantastic and I am confident about how I look naked. Even if I’m pretty blind, I can say on most days I feel beautiful and content with the way I see myself.
I love the library and think it’s the best $12 I’ll ever spend. I believe in giving back to the community, in reading books, and exercising everyday. I like blogs and there are millions of websites that show you how to build a better community and how we can change the world. I subscribe to some, but wonder about others.
When I want to travel, I do, because I want to see what life is like “on the other side.” My perception of the world has totally changed. And the more I see the less I know. It’s amazing.
I own very little because I don’t need a lot to live on, and I try and stick to the idea of 100 things or less. I don’t feel the need to max myself out to the nines everyday, nor do I feel the need to dress scantily to attract attention. I love my jeans and kicks.
It is indeed a bubble life I live in because most people I come across don’t share the same views of the world I do, and I’m guessing as my 30s are slowly approaching this bubble has to pop and I have to leave my cozy nest of denial and join the masses. (more…)
Little Miss Curious goes Taboo
At least, I think they're nipple clamps. (Jeff S.)
This week I have a million things on my mind and dates with bachelors #312 and #254. It doesn’t seem to get any easier from here on in, but life is meant to be complicated, right? Especially when you’re in your 20s. The day I wake up when I’m 30, all my fears and doubts, my worries and insecurities will be gone. I’ll be a new person. Or at least I hope…
This weekend I attended the Taboo Sex Show hoping to get my kink on. That was my expectation, because after all I’ve heard how wildly entertaining it is. I must be getting old then because nothing seemed to offend me.
Actually I felt that it was a bit of a let down. I can honestly say the only good booth was the Traveling Tickle Trunk (and I would be saying that even without their sponsorship of the edmontonian).
I didn’t see anything kinky about it. Just a lot of “Rabbit-Habit” vibes and even more of creepy old men. I was hoping for a show from A.S.K. (Alberta Society for Kink) but all I got was a skinny guy running around in bondage gear brandishing a whip. Needless to say, Little Miss Curious didn’t walk out with any new info. (more…)
Curious top 10
This week I took a little break about writing about sex.
…I said writing, not thinking!
So, while the hamster in my head never stops running its laps, here are the top ten things that rocked my socks off this week.
#1 The Chilean miners being rescued. Who didn’t watch this with a box of Kleenex? What a wonderful day. Hopefully this brings to light mining safety problems, and what goes on around the world. Mining is a dangerous job, period. This is not a first time occurrence, nor sadly will it be the last, but perhaps there might be a push though for more stringent rules now when it comes to this field.
#2 Ginger juice!
It's people! Ginger juice is (ginger) people!
For those of us who suffer from extreme laziness when it comes to cooking, your prayers have arrived. I usually just use it to make tea, but you can do anything with it. Even voodoo (OK maybe not voodoo). $4 a bottle at Planet Organic.
#3 The Royal Alberta Museums opening of “The Wizard of Oz” exhibition this week.
A quick tip, on Saturday and Sunday admission is half-price between 9 and 11.
Cheap date.
#4 The “Pro-smoking” campaign that came out of Nova Scotia. Can we say “genius?!”
#5 “Soul Science” by Justin Adams and Juldeh Camara. This contemporary take on west-African music has been playing non-stop on my iPod.
Final 5 after a quick Soul Science break… (more…)
Spicy candy and beer in hell
More on this, later...
On Tuesday, I plunked my groceries down at the check-out till and made a mental note to see that I had everything. Condoms, shrimp, spinach, ice-cream, and a few other goodies for the long weekend. Check, check and check.
I wasn’t paying that much attention when all of a sudden I heard a man’s voice talking to me. Looking up I assumed it was another creeper, but instead, there in front of me, was the guy I had been flirting with, for maybe 10 years?
Our relationship had been weird; gone to school together, then lost track, would bump into each other every few years, flirt, and then go our separate ways. We talked and, after a few carefully worded questions, I found out that he lived directly across the street from me.
Yes!
There was one catch though. I couldn’t remember his name, and that indeed was a bad thing. So I did what any modern woman would do in my shoes. I pulled out a business card and said: “I’m looking for a workout buddy, you look like you’d be a good match.”
He mumbled something about probably not being able to keep up with me, and I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t agree. He took my card though, and now we’ll see if he makes the next move. If yes, great. If no, great. I never sweat it when it comes to guys. No one should.
On another note, last week I promised to discuss what mayoral candidate would look good in a wet t-shirt contest. I only have two words, Lynn Mandel. (more…)
Curious book titles (and Right Said Fred)
This week, as I prepare to figure out which mayoral candidate would win a wet t-shirt contest, I just have one question. Who writes all these crappy relationship books?
I just picked up a book from the EPL entitled ” Men Are Like Waffles. Women Are Like Spaghetti.” (And Atkins must be rolling round in his grave.) With more than 200, 000 copies sold, however, perhaps I shouldn’t be asking who writes this junk, but who reads this stuff?
Next year I’m writing the sequel to this book, a less carby version; “Men Are Like Sausage, Women Are Like Bacon” and I expect it to be a New York Times Bestseller.
Until next week Edmonton, keep it smart, single, and sexy and don’t forget to follow the elections, even if the winner is quite obvious.
Little Miss Curious is the edmontonian’s sexiest writer (sorry Gregg Beever) and we can’t thank her enough for the Right Said Fred.
Little Miss Curious (NSFW)
Do vibrating cock rings expire? As I attempt to purge myself down to 100 things (that’s a story for another day) I found a little toy that must have come with a box of condoms, from when I was dating that nerdy guy a year ago.
Sad to say his experimentation only went from placing me on the bottom to me on the top, so adventure never really crossed into mind. However, the next guy was much more involved which leads me to wonder; how was it not used up? And what happens if I use it now? Will my partner’s penis catch on fire? Will it explode? Or will it be cool running? I’ll keep you posted… hopefully with a happy ending. (more…)
Art imitating life (NSFW)
(Editor’s note: You’re likely to encounter the word “penis” in this item, so keep that in mind if you’re viewing from a work computer. Also, we were given tickets to the Blue Revue, so we could save our change for the peeps.)
If you read enough about sex, you start seeing sexy stuff everywhere.
DIY yourself porn. It’s never been easier.
With the advance of digital media, smartphones, and cheap electronics, recording your partner doing something naughty has never been simpler. The days of low-res Paris Hilton’s sex tapes need no longer apply.
I’ll admit, I’m no rookie to the production side, having camera equipment always lying round and some very curious partners. Not that I have a whole coffee table book to fill but…The most memorable so far was in the middle of some scary Mexican city, in some scary Mexican hotel that was next to a very scary looking Mexican gun shop.
My bf at the time and I ended up on Mariachi street and were kept awake by sombrero singers. The music was (ahem) so romantic that we decided to record the memories. Unfortunately though, my now ex-bf never deleted the pictures and threatened to release them last year when I was in the Middle East.
Let that be a lesson learned, check your partner’s equipment before you part ways.
On Wednesday, Vue Weekly hosted their first ever “Blue Revue” party to coincide with their annual sex issue. For those of you that missed it (and you did miss a great show) the Blue Revue revolved around amateur pornography, made by our fellow Edmontonians. Not to mention, Capital City Burlesque, BrontoScorpio and some vintage porn.
Edmonton, all I can say is you got talent my friend. (more…)
Dealbreakers
Or, How to find someone you don’t want to kill part 2
Dealbreakers. We all have them. Some may label them as standards, but most people use the more casual term of “F**k no, you can’t touch that!”
Most of us don’t want axe murderers, married people or partners that have bizarre habits. But what about the smaller, annoying things? And what exactly is a dealbreaker?
The Urban Dictionary defines dealbreaker as “…’the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.”
A few weeks back I discussed how you can find your perfect mate, or what you should look for. This week is weeding out the baddies. (more…)
Curious: sexy books
Wait! There's a DVD?
Being a sexy nerd, I do admit books make the best lovers.
Here are a few I’ve been pondering over the last few days.
“Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss.”
Well, apparently I’ve been ending 75% of my dates the wrong way. I have to admit, I was a little puzzled why they had such glum expressions as they walked me to the door…
And with school starting, I’m a little concerned about some of the books are children are reading, especially the new Dr. Seuss ones.
With titles such as “I Love the Nightlife,” “Show me they Honey,” and “Ice is Nice” I’m wondering whatever happened to “Sam, Sam, Sam I am…I do not like Green Eggs and Ham!”
Instead it’s more like “I love my crack, I love my ho, show me the money and I’ll give you some blow!” Awesome!
I’ve already picked up double copies for my nieces to promote a healthy street education.
Until next time Edmonton, Keep it smart single and sexy, I’m Little Miss Curious!
(Editor’s note: Probably Little Miss Curious’ first safe for work post. Don’t forget to get your dealbreakers in, because, as mentioned before, Little Miss Curious is working on a post about those.)
From the snowsuits we're fairly sure they're talking about winter.
How to find someone you don’t want to kill (part 1)
(Editor’s note: As always, Little Miss Curious is going to sex-up your day. So, careful at work when you’re reading this, because your boss may want you reading only boring stuff. Or not surfing the web at all.)
It’s that time of year again. Summer romances are ending, the air is getting cooler and once again many of us are looking for someone after the last firework has petered out.
This time though, it’s not to get hot and sweaty under the sheets, but rather someone to keep us warm during these long winter nights. Someone to kiss, cuddle and, OK, maybe get a little hot and sweaty when it’s -40. Let’s back it up though.
Once you hit a certain age the dating pool seems to just plummet. I’m in my late 20s and, although there are some single people, the majority are taken. I find the single people are single for a reason. (Next week, dealbreakers!)
So do me a favour. Whether you are in a relationship or single it’s always good to evaluate what you want out of your partner. I know I am currently re-evaluating my standards and what I want.
So before you start looking for that “special someone,” or in my case the flavour of the week (just kidding mom!), pick up a pen and draw three circles all within each other so it looks like nipple, areola, breast. (more…)
Curious: Rape by deception
(Editor’s note: the edmontonian now continues its sex-focused column. Not always the best to leave up on your work computer while you wander to the coffee machine.
Imagine this.
It’s a beautiful summer night in Edmonton, a man and woman meet at a bar downtown. The man introduces himself, but gives a false name to “protect” his identity. After some idle chatter, and a bit of random flirting, he and the woman go and have sex in a parking lot.
It’s consensual, and even if it’s not the best sex ever, both adults have
said yes.
After, he quickly dresses and departs before she has a chance to figure out the details of the rest of his life. The name is there but the rest is a mystery.
Later on she discovers, through her social network, that this man has
lied about who he was and she presses charges. The man, is sentenced to
18 months in jail.
Impossible? (more…)
Sexy Craigslist
(Editor’s note: Over here at the edmontonian we think Edmonton is a sexy city. But sexy isn’t always safe for work, so take note.)
“Attention Walmart shoppers. Were you aware that the love of your life could be waiting for you in the next aisle? Please be mindful of this fact and keep your eyes open as you peruse past the electronics department. Oh, and if need be, we have a sale on condoms and lube in Aisle Three. Thank you for shopping at Walmart. We’re here for all your needs.”
Oh Walmart, what can’t I pick up from you? From Coffins to baby clothes, all lovingly made in China, you truly are the one-stop shop. I’m sure if I tried really hard I could also pick-up an STI from you…but that’s another experiment for another day.
Love though? That’s a whole different concept. After all, my life isn’t a romantic comedy in where I turn the corner and find Mr. Right buying the same brand of cat food. According to craigslist (missed connections), Cupid is always shooting his arrows from high above those rolled-back prices.
Doing a quick survey, there seems to be a higher percentage of people finding their soul mate in some areas then others. While Edmonton and Calgary had four “missed connections” each, Phoenix, Arizona, alone, had 44. Toronto (17) and Las Vegas (11) fell around the median, and the rest of the cities were either a few higher or lower.
Perhaps Phoenix (which seems to be a very popular vacation spot for Edmontonians) has a certain love of cheap prices which in turn leads to cheap romances. This phenomenon which I like to call “Walmart Love” has a chance to increase and spread over the next decade as Walmart continue to penetrate the four corners of the world. While I can’t show you every missed connection about lost love at Walmart here are a few of my faves from the store, and other places.
Until next time, keeping it smart, single and sexy I’m Little Miss Curious.
Enjoy.
(Editor’s note: These are definitely NSFW.) (more…)
20-something Diaries
(Editor’s note: We’re always up for something new here at the edmontonian. So we’ll take a peek at Edmonton’s sexy side in our new feature. It’s not always going to be safe for work.)
Lollipop love, braining, cock-sucking, wetting-the whistle, blow-jobs…I’m on my way to the Penis Pleasing workshop held at the Travelling Tickle Trunk and I’m racking my brains for other synonyms for the act of fellatio.
Ever since the Clinton administration, the whole debate of oral sex being “sex” has been on the table, but I’m not here to discuss my views on this matter. I am here to take a workshop. Being a 20-something female, I like to think I’m pretty experienced at this, but one can never be too educated when it comes to the topic of sex and I’m hoping to learn a few new things. (more…)
