Cold, and cool, events
It may be a chilly weekend in Edmonton, but put your long johns on and get out there!
It looks like a good live music weekend. (I feel like I say that most weeks…)
You can check out Krystle Dos Santos at Jeffrey’s Cafe & Wine Bar (not my wine bar, by the way). She’s an amazing, local jazz singer. You should catch her live if for no other reason than to be able to say to people “Oh, you simply have to see her live.”
Oh, you simply have to see Krystle Dos Santos live.
Saturday is full of great music.
Gobble Fest welcomes back Gobble Gobble from their latest tour and has many guests alongside them. A band that might still be off your radar, The Bridle Party, is releasing their first album tomorrow at Naked, on Jasper. Cygnets is also releasing an album tomorrow night (at the Pawn Shop). Jason Collett is all up in Haven Social Club’s business Saturday night.
On the Festival beat…Exposure is in its final weekend, so get out and enjoy the final throes of Edmonton’s queer arts and culture festival. The U of A’s Festival of Ideas continues to fill your brain until Sunday, with a big finish from David Sedaris.
Interested in the way a city is put together? Like LEGO? One or both of those work for you? Then check out The Way We Move Challenge at The Telus World of Science this weekend. Using the toy blocks, the City of Edmonton is going to get you interested in transportation planning and design.
If you’re still looking around for a Friday night idea, why not check Cheap Date Night at The Traveling Tickle Trunk.
Gift sopping will soon be (or already is) the order of the day for most people. This weekend there are three spots you might want to check out if you’re into that kind of thing. My Filosophy is donating some of the proceeds of their Saturday sales to the Stollery, so you’d be helping while shopping. The Handmade Mafia is out with a very special holiday show this weekend, at the Strathcona Community Hall. And St. Albert’s got a giant craft sale.
Don’t forget, November is Movember. There’s a moustache party at Original Joe’s Varsity tonight.
I also forgot to mention The Gateway is celebrating it’s 100th birthday this weekend. Follow the Twitter hashtag #gw100 to keep up with returning alumni, events, and general shenanigans. (The Gateway is the University of Alberta’s student newspaper. We can only hope that means 80-year-old dudes coming back to re-live their glory days by downing Jagr Bombs at Hudson’s on Campus.)
Pretty nice little Thursday
The snow seems to be waning, the weekend is pending, and there are a lot of entertainment options for your Thursday evening, Edmonton.
With the snowy weather upon us, you may just want to duck inside a movie theatre for some warmth. Gregg’s always got a rundown on what’s on the big screen. I also hear a rumour he and Sally are teaming up to tear down another popular movie…
I think I’ll be checking out a movie of a slightly different sort tonight. The Turkey Shoot is on at Metro tonight! This month they’re examining the deep, philosophical meaning of The Hand. Should be a great time.
And if you can’t make it to tonight’s Turkey Shoot, I want you to already think about checking it out December 9. They’re ending the year with Showgirls. There are few movies better suited to ongoing sarcastic commentary.
Since we’re talking all intellectual-like, I should point out the Festival of Ideas continues. It’s also at the Citadel tonight. (The Turkey Shoot’s screenings happen in the same building.)
Exposure Fest also continues to roll right along.
And if you’re up for a little citizen engagement, you can check out the open house on the Walterdale Bridge and West Rossdale. After seeing some tweets today about Rossdale, the Epcor plant, the location’s aboriginal history, and Winnipeg’s Forks, I totally want to see the old plant and surrounding area become a historial and recreational resource at the foot of a brand-spanking new bridge.
November’s not dead
Looks like a pretty good weekend ahead, Edmonton. And you thought November was just going to drag. (Did you? Am I making that up? I’m probably making that up.)
In the “ongoing” category we have Farmfair and the Canadian Finals Rodeo, and our documentary film fest Global Visions.
The Exposure Festival begins today. (You’ve probably noticed their ad on our site the last few weeks. So, don’t act all surprised.) Exposure is Edmonton’s annual celebration and exhibition of queer arts and culture.
Caity Fisher at The Artery tonight. She’s good.
Also, around the music scene, F&M are at the Haven Social Club and The Trews are the Arden Theatre tonight.
Shout out out out out, Christian Hansen and the Autistics, and The Whitsundays are at the Starlite Room Saturday. (Check the poster, to the right.)
And, while I think it’s still too early to run full-tilt into Christmas, it’s all about the holidays tomorrow at Churchill Square with the annual tree light-up. It’s going to be a full day’s worth of fun, with City Market vendors, music, Santa, and more. It also kicks off the Grey Cup celebrations. (Oh yeah, that’s coming in November too!)
Sunday you can prepare for the pending zombie invasion with Edmonton Zombeers. It’s always good to be ready. (This also really ended up working well with my title for this post. Since zombies are also not really dead – anymore.)
Don’t forget about movies, Movember, and Shop Local Month. You can watch movies at theatres, donate to Movember from wherever, and shop local by, uh, shopping local.
Enjoy it

Last weekend I got rocked by Edmonton bands N.N. (pictured), The Mystery Ponies, and touchitandyouwillsayow. The first two are playing again this Sunday, at Brixx, with a couple of local rappers.
We hinted, in today’s symphony post, and movie previews, that summer is ending. So we might as well enjoy the unofficial end of summer with a long weekend full of good times.
It will be even better if the weather cooperates.
As mentioned, this weekend heralds new movies, and is the annual Symphony Under the Sky at Hawrelak Park.
There are more movies, on the square, with How to Train Your Dragon tonight and Toy Story 3 tomorrow night.
There’s more music festival, Saturday, with Sonic Boom back at Northlands.
Also at Northlands, all weekend, is the WPCA Dodge World Chuckwagon Championships.
One event I hadn’t heard of, before checking ShareEdmonton, is the Raas Garba Festival, which looks to be colourful, and features events with people from Edmonton, Calgary, Fort McMurray, and Vancouver. The festival is a celebration of the culture of people from the west Indian province of Gujurat.
Almost ABBA is at the Century Casino. Bobby Curtola is playing the Arden Theatre, in St. Alberta.
Alright, now back to young, hip kid stuff. (With some help from YEGLive.ca.)
Like Cam Penner, playing the Blue Chair Cafe tonight.
This weekend is also the Beaumont Blue Fest. That will see bands such as Jimmy and the Sleepers, Boogie Patrol, Gordie Johnson (from Big Sugar) and Amos Garrett bring down the party, rock things out, and and spill their souls, just southeast of Edmonton.
There’s even more great blues music all week at Blues on Whyte, with Winnipeg’s Big Dave McLean.
Bluebird North is showcasing songwriters this long weekend too.
You could always get lost.
Don’t forget:
The LRT will not be going beyond Churchill Station. That starts Friday night and continues through all of Monday.
You probably don’t have to work Monday.
Gregg vs. Sally: The Expendables

Earlier this summer, our resident movie expert Gregg Beever took one for the team and accompanied me to a screening of Sex and the City 2. He’s since been crouched in the shadows, waiting for the perfect movie that would allow him to exact his revenge on me.
Which is how I wound up at The Expendables last Saturday. What follows is our review of the film, as conducted via Facebook Chat.
Sally: okey doke. so. the expendables. this was my payback for making you endure sex and the city 2.
Gregg: It was basically the polar opposite of Sex and the City 2.
Sally: gender wise, i agree. in terms of being awful, i’d say they’re cut from the same cloth.
Gregg: Can’t argue that…although it was easier watching Expendables as my lust for explosions and needless gore were being pandered to.
Sally: i will say that steve austin was a triumph!
Gregg: If they handed out Oscars for best former wrestler to marginally handle four lines of dialogue, he would certainly get my vote.
Sally: ha ha, i wonder who else would be nominated in that category.
Gregg: Stallone, for having the balls run a bridge at age sixty. “Running” is probably not the term.
Sally: wobbling?
Gregg: Waddling briskly? Shuffling, maybe
Fast, Football, Festivals, Free, and Fantastic
Longboarders are going to have to be brave to tackle the race through our river valley. Yikes!
As for our headline…when the alliteration shoe fits…
This weekend sees the end of another year of fringing. But, fret not, the 29th Edmonton International Fringe Theatre Festival lives on in our hearts.
Oh, and in these holdover plays.
Hope this smoke clears out because there are a few outdoor movies this weekend. Finding Nemo (another F!) is playing tonight at the Valley Zoo. (Oops! It was last night. Thanks for the heads up, Mike.)
Movies on the Square is back too, with Diary of a Wimpy Kid tonight, and Fantastic Mr. Fox Saturday night. Stony Plain has an outdoor movie too.
It’s Free Cookie Friday at Luzarra. Get over to Whyte Avenue and buy a coffee so you can get a cookie. That caffeine and sugar will only help you start the weekend better.
The tune-ups are done and the Prairie Football Conference is into the real stuff this weekend. The second-best team in the country, the Edmonton Wildcats, begin their season home to the Regina Thunder. Sunday at Clarke Park (beside Commonwealth Stadium).
The winless Edmonton Huskies also begin the regular season this weekend. They’ll take anything they can get after going 0-8 last season. They host the Calgary Colts Saturday night at Clarke.
This is actually quite a decent level of football if you can’t bear to watch the Eskimos embarrass themselves anymore. Tickets are also reasonably priced.
Another non-Eskimos option is the Edmonton Capitals. Tonight’s game is also chock full of diabetes info, courtesy of the Canadian Diabetes Association. (The Capitals are ALSO showing a movie outside, after their Saturday game. It’s The Rookie.)
DEDfest is back to scare the crap out of you, and generally make you squirm.
DEDfest may get you thinking about Hallowe’en, which may get you thinking about fall, which may get you thinking about farmers harvesting their crops, which leads me to mention the Corn Maze is open.
Let’s dip into the ShareEdmonton calendar for some fun.
Clearer air would also help the participants in the Edmonton Dragon Boat Festival, happening at Louise McKinney Park.
As mentioned earlier this week, Saturday is the Canadian Derby at Northlands. It’ll be all fancy hats, fast horses and…bikini girls…
Hawrelak Park’s got the blues. Dun, dun, dun da, dun…The Edmonton’s Labatt Blues Festival…Dun, dun, dun da, dun…
Don’t forget you can always seek shelter from the smoke in a nice, cool movie theatre. Gregg can tell you what’s likely worth your money.
And on Monday, we’ll be celebrating our first year alongside another one-year-old, The Unknown Studio. Come on out to Wunderbar, throw us a toonie, enjoy some fine beer, and hear life-affirming passages from celebrity autobiographies. Party pants not required.
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While messing up the Finding Nemo showtime I also forgot to mention The ARTery’s kick-ass weekend. The Get Down is playing Friday night (there’s still time, it’s still good) and Saturday is an artists’ garage sale/pancake breakfast/bbq/block party. Told you it was kick-ass.
Long weekend = One more day of fun
It’s the Heritage Day long weekend, Edmonton, so get out there and soak in all that summer.
Over the next four days (counting Friday night) there’s a lot to do in Edmonton.
Capital Ex continues at Northlands. A Taste of Edmonton is still at Churchill Square. (Both run until Sunday.)
And, of course, Heritage Day means Hawrelak Park becomes the Heritage Festival. It’s the 35th go-round for Heritage Fest, with more than 60 countries and ethnicities represented. There will be culture and food, all three days of the weekend, in the park. Plan your adventures with the map.
The winless Eskimos play tonight. Meh.
Friday night is a really good music night. Juliette Lewis is playing the Starlite Room, Metric (and Hot Hot Heat) are at Capital Ex, Fred Eaglesmith is in Stony Plain at the Blueberry Bluegrass and Country Music Festival, and there’s that little thing called the Big Valley Jamboree over in Camrose.
On Sunday, The Old Wives are playing at Lyve on Whyte and Audio/Rocketry is at the PawnShop.
And Capital Ex has more music at the Telus Stage Saturday and Sunday. Plus, The Be Arthurs can be found at Centre Stage.
There are dinosaurs!!
ShareEdmonton had an event that really caught my eye. (What can I say, I have a soft spot for chess.) This weekend is the Edmonton Chess Festival. Checkmate.
I also keep forgetting to mention Saturday as a great farmers’ market day. You’ve got the year-round Old Strathcona version, or summer’s City Market Downtown.
It’s the end of the month, so you can check Gregg’s July movie preview and his new look at the August releases, if you’re hitting the movie theatre.
Don’t tire yourself out this weekend, since Folk Fest starts Wednesday night, and the Fringe is on the horizon.
And, because I’m going to mention it all of the time, the edmontonian and Unknown Studio will be celebrating their first birthday(s) Monday, August 23.
Even Sassier Summer Movies
Hey Edmonton, Gregg back again with your continued guide to the 2010 summer movie season. I decided it might be a smart idea to let you know the date these films are released this time. Next time I’ll also remember to list the director and who is starring, but I’m too lazy for that right now. Enjoy!
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Splice – June 4th
I loved Zach Snyder’s remake of Dawn of the Dead, brilliantly brutal, and starred Canadian actress Sarah Polley, who turned in a great performance as the vulnerable alpha-female, Ana.
This summer Polley stars along-side another of my favourite performers; Adrien Brody (The Jacket, anyone?). Together they splice a dog with a gnat, or something, and genetic terror ensues.
Honestly, the lab-baby featured in Splice is one of the most uncomfortably creepy monsters I’ve scene on film. I think it’s the lipstick and eyeshadow; just weirds me out.
Potential for Awesome:
Take that lipstick off! You look like a whore!
Killers – June 4th
Oh gods.
Determining which movies are unworthy of your hard earned dollars is not a difficult task. First ask yourself “Is it a romantic comedy?” If the answer is yes, don’t spend your money; or at least wait until you can rent it.
Okay, maybe you don’t agree good romantic comedies are as rare as a Virgin Marry appearance on toast, but at least read the badly written synopsis before you decide to waste a trip to the theater.
Here is the actual Lionsgate synopsis for Killers:
“Trying to recover from a sudden break-up, Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl) believes she’ll never fall in love again [Oh no! It’s so tragic and sad!]. But when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the French Riviera, Jen happens to meet the man of her dreams [barf], the dashing [nope], handsome [definitely not] Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher). Three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and Spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life [Such a rare, impossible thing to get married and live in suburbia] – that is, until the morning after Spencer’s 30th birthday when bullets start flying. Literally. [What would be happening for bullets to be flying figuratively?]”
Potential for Awesome:
One ironic farmer hat our of Five.
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Get Him to the Greek – June 4th
In an unlikely spin-off, Russell Brand returns to the role of Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Aldous Snow. Playing the likable asshole suites Brand, whom I’m guessing isn’t straying too far from his actual personality here.
There was some internal debate amongst my friends as to whether Jonah Hill was reprising his desperate musician/waiter character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall or if he was simply playing a whole new character. The answer is, if you care, Hill plays an entirely new character named Aaron Greenberg.
I’ve read early reviews that say the show stealer in this film is actually Sean Combs. P. Diddy himself comes out of nowhere and puts on a comedy clinic, who knew?
Potential for Awesome:
One delicious serving of Saganaki!
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Marmaduke – June 4th
Everyone loves talking dogs!
Pass.
Potential for Awesome:
None.
A-Team – June 11th
At this point brainstorming in Hollywood must go something like “What else was popular in the 80’s? Didn’t people play Battleship in the 80’s? Yeah, make a movie about Battleship.”
Not surprisingly, the series that made Mr. T a pop-culture phenomenon has passed through the Hollywood recycler for a surely brief nostalgic revival. The modern makeover of the A-Team includes Bradley Cooper, Liam Neeson, Quinton Jackson and District 9’s Sharlto Copley, who at least gives me one reason to watch it.
However, if you love explosions, prepare to have your meaty brain tickled with physically implausible fancy!
Potential for Awesome:
3 out of 5 pitied fools
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The Karate Kid – June 11th
Continuing the rampage through 80s properties we get a new Karate Kid. Reaction to this film is tepid at best, with most movie goers feeling a remake is completely unnecessary. Understandable, considering the last Karate Kid attempted without Ralph Macchio was quite forgettable; how many remember Hilary Swank and praying mantis style?
The new film isn’t even about karate. When word broke Will Smith was producing a Karate Kid starring his son Jaden and Jackie Chan there was some title confusion. Jackie was quoted claiming the movie would be called “The Kung Fu Kid,” a far more appropriate title considering the film is set in China and the plot has Jackie teaching Jaden kung fu, a Chinese discipline, not karate.
But “The Kung Fu Kid” is not an established, bankable franchise, so “The Karate Kid” it is.
Despite its problems, I liked that the remake was set entirely in China, and that Jackie Chan was getting a turn as the Mr. Miyagi-type mentor, there was some potential there. That was until I found out the director, Harald Zwart, was also at the helm for such hits as Pink Panther 2 and Agent Cody Banks.
Potential for Awesome:
All the potential of a modern Steve Martin movie.
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Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work – June 11th
(I’m not sure if or when this will hit Edmonton, June 11th is the US release date)
Sympathy is not easily earned by celebrities, nor is respect. For an aging comedian well past her prime, continuing to work in an industry notorious for chewing and spitting performers, every day must feel like an uphill battle.
Joan Rivers, who’s face looks as though it is used to grow and cultivate Botox, has become the ass end of a punchline in the twilight of her storied career. Once mentored by Johnny Carson, Rivers has been reduced to doing anything for work. “I’ll wear a diaper” she says in the trailer.
A Piece of Work documents a year in her life struggling to maintain her career.
Potential for Awesome:
3 bad menstruation jokes out of 5
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The Mormon Proposition – June 18th
(Again, US release)
Proposition 8 swiftly cut the right to marry for hundreds of thousands Californian homosexuals in November of 2008. The Mormon Proposition examines the role the Mormon church played in tabling the proposition and its eventual passing, thus making for a very angry Sulu. Full power to the gaysers!
Okay, that was lame. That paragraph looked boring, that’s all I got to punch it up. I’M NOT YOUR DAMNED MONKEY!
Anyway, I hardly need another reminder of the active role organized religion plays in the stunting of social progress, but this particular documentary looks too terrifying to pass up.
Potential for Awesome:
Sensors are detecting gayma radiation captain…sorry.
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Toy Story 3 – June 18th
While we’re making gay puns, Woody’s back!
I suspect this will be the last in the Toy Story series. Or at least it should be. The reason for making any sequel is that there is still a story left to tell. In the case of Toy Story 3, Woody and Buzz struggle after being given away when Andy leaves for college, concluding the series where the story for any toy naturally ends.
Pixar is a remarkably consistent studio, producing a dizzying array of memorable films, so I trust them not to go for the cash grab with a Toy Story 4.
Then again, Cars 2 and Monsters Inc. 2 are on the way…sigh…
Potential for Awesome:
10 out of 10. What can I say, I’m a sucker for Pixar movies.
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Jonah Hex – June 18th
Who the cuss is Jonah Hex? Don’t worry, until film blogs came alive with the news of Josh Brolin playing the character I had no idea either. As Hollywood continues to excavate the comic book mine, the heroes unearthed to take the silver screen will become more obscure. Ant-man, for example, a super hero the size of an ant. Riveting.
In fairness to Jonah, he has been around a long while, the character was created in 1971. Billed as a western anti-hero, Hex has no super powers to speak of, save his deadly aim with a pistol. Basically he’s just a badass bounty hunter.
That wasn’t good enough for the studio, of course, who have anointed Jonah with supernatural powers. In the trailer he appears to bring a man back from the dead, which likely sent comic geeks leaping to their keyboard to register their disgust.
But all is not lost, Megan Fox is the leading lady, which is bound to attract the lusting male ticket dollar. Why do you suppose Transformers made 300 million dollars? It certainly had nothing to do with good story telling or adept direction. (hint: the secret is titties and explosions)
Potential for Awesome:
Three sticky Maxim magazines out of Five
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Grown Ups – June 25th
Doctors announced this morning that Adam Sandler’s career laboured on life-support for much of the past decade, but finally succumbed to a family comedy. Sandler’s family issued a statement saying his career died peacefully and in the company of friends David Spade and Rob Schneider. Doctors place the time of death at June 25th, 2010.
Grown Ups is rated PG-13, so technically it isn’t a family comedy, but the trailer sure feels like one. This movie could be like Adam Sandler’s Parenthood. Except Parenthood was good, and Grown Ups will be terrible.
Potential for Awesome:
Hopefully another war of words between Roger Ebert and Schneider will break out. Otherwise, zero.
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Knight and Day – June 25th
Tom Cruise plays a quirky secret agent/spy gone rogue, who gets the unwilling Cameron Diaz involved in a deadly game of lies and betrayal. Diaz must decide if Tom is trust worthy or crazy…in the movie. Otherwise the choice is simple, he’s crazy.
I feel guilty when I want to see a Tom Cruise movie now. I try to convince myself I won’t watch Knight and Day on account of Cruise being a reckless Scientology zealot, but I can’t help myself. The man may be a certified loon, but damn if he isn’t compelling on the silver screen.
Potential for Awesome:
1106 on the E-meter
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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – June 30th
Lip biting and gay vampires, what else can I say other than “No, Sally, we are not going to go watch Twilight.”
Potential for Awesome:
—–
Gregg Beever is the edmontonian’s Sarcasm Bureau Chief. He’s also lucky Sally has no interest in seeing anything Twilight related.
The Sassy Summer Movie Spectacular
May Movies – By Gregg Beever
Last week I picked up something called the Edmonton Journal. Have you guys heard of it? It’s some sort of news source printed on paper; how quaint!
Anyway, one of their entertainment journalists wrote a lengthy primer about this summer’s blockbuster movie season.
The article was boring. No sass, no salty language. It needed outrageous opinions and, more importantly, it needed to tell me how, and what, to think about each movie released this summer.
Then I though, “Hey wait! I could tell everyone what to think. That’s way better!”
Read on, fellow Edmontonians, for Part 1 of Gregg’s Summer Movie Primer.
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When you’re hot in Hollywood you are hot. Robert Downey Jr. kicks off the summer blockbuster season as the cocksure Tony Stark in Iron Man 2, continuing his highly bankable rampage through the box office.
Who, at this point, wouldn’t want to see more Downey Jr.?
He instantly takes control of every scene with his magnetic swagger and rugged good looks. Test audience statistics show that 90% of women’s panties blow clean off whenever Mister Junior graces the frame. And why not? Even I would try and grope that sexy man’s ass if he weren’t wearing a giant red and gold chastity suit.
Iron Man 2 boast a strong supporting cast in Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Sam Rockwell, Gwyneth Paltrow and a leather clad Scarlett Johansson. With so much high-end talent, and so many characters to manage there are some concerns director Jon Favreau may have created another Spider-man 3.
But I believe Robert Downey Jr.’s ass can save any film!
Potential for Awesome: 9 sassy, back-talking computers out of 10
Queen Latifah will star in the summer’s first romantic comedy. I like Latifah, she’s a solid actress who comes off as very genuine. It’s nice to see her trusted to carry the female lead in a summer rom-com, particularly because she doesn’t have the absurdly skinny body type typically cast for the part.
Having said that, I’m still not going to see it.
Latifah’s love interest is played by some dude named Common.
Ridiculous names usually mean rappers and, wouldn’t you know it, a quick check on IMDB reveals that Common is indeed such a musician.
Does Common have just the Wright stuff (get it?!) to pull off some romantic movie magic? Let me know, I’ll be in the theater next to it watching Robin Hood.
Potential for Awesome: Zero commons out of sense.
“Making movies, making music and FIGHTING AROUND THE WORLD!”
Russell Crowe is back and reunited with Ridley Scott for Gladiator II: Prince of Thieves.
Since the success of the Dark Knight, tinsel town figures what audiences want are gritty, dark heroes. Ipso facto: a dark and gritty Robin Hood.
Personally, I’m all for it. My greatest frustration with any adapted property from my childhood is they are rarely treated with any degree of seriousness. Instead I’m forced to endure two hours of Shia Labeouf quips and Megan Fox presenting when what I want to see is Optimus Prime struggle as the reluctant warrior.
So if producers believe the road to the bank is paved in heavy adaptions of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Superman, Godzilla, and Robin Hood, I say “Here’s my money!”
Potential for Awesome: Four tug boats out of Five
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I don’t have much to say about what is surely just another bullshit rom-com, except that I’m baffled by the film industry’s sudden fascination with Amanda Seyfried. I know her as one of the bitchy chicks in Mean Girls with questionable acting talent. Now she’s starring in her own summer movie? I don’t get it.
Potential for Awesome: Three Lindsay Lohan meltdowns out of Ten
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Good news and bad news. The bad news is Dreamworks made another Shrek movie, the good news is Community got picked up for a second season. I know the two are unrelated, but I have no idea how to dress up the prospect of another Shrek.
Shrek the Third was surprisingly bad. Somehow the smart, snappy wit that made the series great sank into the swamp. I love you Mike Myers, but your sequels have a nasty habit of rehashing old jokes.
Once a franchise begins to go south recovery is rare and difficult. We all painfully recall the wretched state Joel Schumacher left Batman in. That franchise took eight years and a reboot in an entirely new direction to recover.
Maybe Myers and company manage to pull one out, but I’m not holding my breath.
Potential for Awesome: Two Ogre farts out of Five
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When the announcement came that Universal was producing a MacGruber movie the internet let out a collective “Huh? What?”
Pictures based on Saturday Night Live sketches don’t exactly have a stellar track record, partly because there just isn’t enough substance in a sketch to flesh out into a feature length film. It’s a hurdle that only Dana Carvey and Mike Myers have managed to leap with measured success.
MacGruber must also try to find an audience with a parody of a character who half the target audience will barely remember. At this point Richard Dean Anderson is better known for Stargate than he is MacGyver.
Surprisingly the trailer is solidly hilarious, and we may be in for a surprise as MacGruber looks to buck the trend of the SNL curse. Plus the movie has Kristen Wiig and a pudgy Val Kilmer. I’m sold.
Potential for Awesome: Ten paperclip bombs out of Ten
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Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
A bulked up Jake Gyllenhaal challenges the curse of the horrendous video game adaptation. Very few games have ever been translated into successful films; only Resident Evil has managed to grab decent box office dollars, though I’m unsure why.
However, Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney did manage to turn an amusement park ride into a billion-dollar trilogy, so perhaps the outlook is good for Prince of Persia.
Potential for Awesome: Two broke backs out of a mountain
I know very little about Sex and the City. When I found out it wasn’t a porno I honestly stopped caring.
What I do know is many husbands and boyfriends will be dragged to the theater to watch Sara Jessica Parker (who would make a great Gargamel in the upcoming Smurfs movie) and that Canadian chick learn about life, love and expensive clothes…again.
The poster for Sex and the City 2 reads “Carrie on.” More like “Carrie Off.” Am I right? High fives, everyone!
Potential for Awesome: Half a Mr. Big
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Gregg Beever’s a busy guy, but don’t you worry Hollywood kids, he’ll have more summer movie spectaculars soon. He just has to go blow up a few things for Michael Bay first.
There is no Alternative
If you could stop downloading movies for just a few minutes, Edmonton, I’d like to tell you about a change to your video rental options.
I’ll wait for those of you who didn’t even know you could still rent movies to settle down.
Ok.
If you’ve ever been on Whyte Avenue’s east side (east of Gateway Boulevard) you’ve probably seen Alternative Video Spot in the strip mall between 100 and 101 Streets. If you’ve been by recently you’ve seen a big, empty store. Yes, this long-time movie icon of Old Strathcona is gone.
But fret not, my arty movie-loving friends, for the team that brought you Alternative Video Spot has packed up their favourite flicks and moved ever-so-slightly southwest. You can call them “The Videodrome” now.
In an e-mail exchange, Alternative/Videodrome’s John Hudson explains the move.
“In short, the strip mall we were in had become a very unpleasant place to do business. First we were beside a rough bar and once the smokers were forced out on the street we had a constant stream of men outside the bar, drunk and smoking,” he writes.
“This, of course, attracted other undesirables such as drug dealers and “working” women. Then, after a couple years of that, a liquor store opened on the other side of us which attracted the street people first thing in the morning. So we were trying to run a business that attracted families who the had to run a gauntlet of un-family like people to get to us. Add to this our landlord was completely unsympathetic to our plight and wanted $7000 a month for the “privilege” of being there. We could not come to reasonable terms so we left.” (more…)
Time to (ironically?) subvert capitalism
I know that Michael Moore’s new movie, Capitalism: A Love Story, isn’t actually about how great capitalism is. But it still feels like we’re doing something tricky to be giving away tickets.
A movie about capitalism and we’re going to make sure you DON’ T pay? Clearly we’re commies.

Google's #1 image for "capitalism."
We don’t have a lot of time, the movie is tonight, so let’s make this quick and easy, comrades.
If you’re on Twitter, I’ll ask you to RT a message about the movie tickets, if you’re here at the website just slap something in the comments of this post, and if you’re at our Facebook page, just “like” or comment on our link.
Everybody who does one of the preceding will be entered into a draw for 11am (again, time is tight) and we’ll hook you up with sweet, free, tickets.
Remember, the movie is TONIGHT, at 7pm (get there early) at the Westmount Shopping Centre Cinemas.
More movies
As you can see below (I’m guessing you’re on our main page, if not, go there and look below this story) the film festival is about to blow our minds with movies.

Suspense! Romance? Comedy!
But Metro Cinema is taking things up a notch during the Edmonton International Film Festival by showing Local Filmmakers.
The cats over at HighWire Films (also behind the CJSR Fundrive videos) have Beartrap for your viewing pleasure this weekend.
This looks to be a bit dark, but funny too. They call it Silence of the Lambs meets the Odd Couple. Which is enough to make it worth checking out.
The movie has local talent, crew, and even boasts some great local (and Canadian) music from Colleen Brown, The Famines, The Joe and Rah Rah.
Also local and showing is The Mysteries of Kinematic Inversion: The Old Man and the Oloid.
Metro Cinema is in Zeidler Hall in the Citadel Theatre, 9828 – 101A Ave. (Hey, I didn’t know until the first time I went, so I’m guessing other people don’t know where it is.)
































