Time’s running out to catch the Theatre network’s bold adaptation of Canadian cult classic Hard Core Logo at the Roxy.

I say “bold” because, to dorks like me, this movie is untouchable. It’s a masterpiece. I’m the quintessential HCL fanboy, with boxes of memorabilia, a knowledge of every trivial fact about the film, a vocabulary heavily peppered with lines and references to the original, even fifteen years later (“That’s not buddies” is a phrase my brother Paul and I – who you may recognize as one half of The Truthvestigators – often use). I have a Hard Core Logo tattoo, for Pete’s sake.

In fact, I went to see the show last night only 50% sure I’d be able to write about it, because stating my opinion on the live version of HCL would be akin to asking our Unknown Studio friends Adam and Scott to evaluate a Jubilations Dinner Theatre performance of Star Trek: The Next Generation: it wouldn’t be pretty.

So no one is more pleasantly surprised than me at being able to say that you should drop whatever you’re doing right now and get tickets to see Hard Core Logo: Live, before its final show on Sunday.

Obviously, I have the common fanboy complaints; whether I liked the music in the film as much as the stageshow (I didn’t), whether the live version matched the darkness and grit of the film (it didn’t) and whether I enjoyed the actors as much (I did, but for different reasons). But more than anything, you have to respect the degree to which the stage production just becomes its own thing – much more focused on the punk “scene” than the film, which was more of a human drama, a backdrop against which you watched the growing desperation of the band.

Instead, the live version is funny, and loud (Good God, why doesn’t more theatre require me to wear earplugs?!), and above all else, incredibly entertaining. The cast is so strong, right across the board, that it’s impossible to single out any one person – though it’s worth noting the insane guitar skillz of Telly James, in the role of Billy Tallent.

In short, Hard Core Logo: Live is like a really fun, less depressing version of the film, and will likely please you whether you’ve ever seen the original or not.

Hard Core Logo: Live is at the Roxy Theatre until Sunday, December 5. Then the boys pack up to tour Vancouver in the new year.

A movie review by Gregg Beever

The Switch tells a story each of us, I think, can relate to. We’ve all been there, accidentally spilling a hopeful single mom’s donor semen and replacing it with our own so no one is the wiser. If I had a quarter for every replacement-semen-baby I’ve got, let me tell you, that’s a lot of quarters.

Supplying the semen for this film is Jason Bateman as Wally Mars, the quick-witted, awkward best friend of Kassie Larson (Jennifer Aniston). No longer willing to wait through the standards steps of baby-making, Kassie jumps all those pesky relationship hurdles, opting for artificial insemination.

When a drunk Wally exchanges Kassie’s bottled baby-gravy for a load of his own, the premise is on. Seven years later, his best friend moves back to New York, and Wally begins to realizes he hijacked Kassie’s pregnancy and little Sebastian is his son.

Both Bateman and Aniston are excellent comedic actors with expert timing. I’ve liked Jennifer Aniston since the days of the Rachel Cut, and her banter with Bateman is hilarious and fun to watch. More importantly, the dialogue felt genuine, allowing the audience to buy into the friendship and history the two characters have.

The strongest relationship in the film, however, belongs to Wally and his son Sebastian. Thomas Robinson is not the most talented child actor – he’s certainly no Haley Joel Osment, the young DUI king – but he supplies right amount of innocence to the roll of a smart, odd kid.

Wally talks to Sebastian as if he were an adult, which I really enjoyed. Their conversations about hypochondria and missing father figures are cute, touching and add an element of friendship to the fatherly roll Wally later takes on.

For all its strengths, however, this movie could not escape the typical romantic comedy pitfalls. There seems to be a notion among screen writers that the audience will care if two people end up together simply because they are the principal characters. While Bateman and Aniston do have chemistry on the big screen, it isn’t romantic chemistry.

At no point in this film does Aniston’s Kassie see something in Wally she hadn’t before. Despite multiple scenes where Kassie is watching Wally interact and bond with her son, the script gives us no indication she is interested.

Okay, yes, there is a scene where Kassie tells Wally there’s some new “energy” between them. But really, if the script must resort to telling me there is “energy” rather than showing me, the screen writers aren’t doing their job.

There are other problems, such as Jeff Goldblum’s over-the-top performance as Wally’s confidant. Also, does Juliette Lewis ever not look completely wrecked on screen? Every movie she’s in I assume she’s playing a crack addict.

While there are some minor issues, The Switch is worth a trip to the theater if you have some time to kill, and definitely worth a rent when it hits DVD and Blu-ray. The film is quite funny, has a few very sweet moments and teaches us something about life. For example, I learned if you accidentally spill your best friend’s donor semen, make sure to replace it with your own semen, because eventually that semen will be your swapped-semen love-child that gets you the girl…

…semen.

Gregg Beever writes about movies for us. He also just set a new record for use of the term “semen” in a 600 word review.

“It must be some kind of… Hot Tub Time Machine.”

This quote, straight from the first 15 minutes of the movie, just about sums it up. Hot Tub Time Machine, starring John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson and Clark Duke, is a no logic required, beer with buddies, R-rated romp. There are some hilarious moments, and a giant pile of 80s jokes. Unfortunately, in that pile of jokes is also some one liners that fall flat and a weird mix of comedians.

I love seeing a good comedy with friends. Nothing beats those time when you can sit down with a good group of buddies and watch Anchorman. Even more recently, friends alike all went out to catch one of the best comedies of last year, The Hangover. Everyone loves to laugh, but not everyone laughs at the same thing.

Movies like Anchorman and The Hangover nail this problem by entertaining a variety of audiences through the use of a mix of comedians. Hot Tub Time Machine tries to do this too, however jokes between characters don’t play as well as they could. Fortunately the movie has a few more good parts then bad, just like a good friend.

Ah, the 80s, I hardly knew you. But I got to know you so well in this film. Traveling back to 1986, the stage is set for our players. That stage is riddled with cocaine jokes, Michael Jackson, Crispin Glover, and Chevy Chase (both with excellent cameos throughout the movie).

I wish they had spent more time in the 80s than in 2010. 80s nostalgia and the sweet Hot Tub action (that one is for you Jeff) is what everybody is going to see. Hopefully there’s a lot of extended scenes and features on the DVD of the 80′s because it is easily the best part of the film.

This movie is a good friend. They may have a couple of flaws, be crappy sometimes (like Corddry’s character) but in the end…they’re fun. The movie is entertaining (especially if you like 80s jokes) so grab a beer and invite the friends over when this one comes out on DVD.

3/5

(Editor’s note: I feel like we’ve already talked about Hot Tub Time Machine…I wonder if we’ve opened some kind of wormhole. Or that jacuzzi I partied in last night was actually some kind of…hot tub time machine…)

Hot Tub Time Machine has a title that you it tells you EXACTLY what to expect in the film. Much like Snakes on a Plane, you know what you’re getting into with Hot Tub Time Machine.

There’s a hot tub and it serves as a time machine. No further explanation necessary.

The question then becomes, “Is the best thing about this film its title?” Surprisingly (to me, anyway) there’s actually a pretty entertaining movie to go along with the snappy name.

The plot isn’t anything horribly original. Three middle-aged friends are stuck in shitty jobs and shitty relationships and decide to relive their glory days by visiting a ski resort where they spent some of the best days of their youth. The main character’s nephew gets dragged along for the ride and acts as the voice of reason throughout their fantastic voyage.

The resort is not what they remember but they decide to make the most of it by getting drunk in the hot tub. When the haze clears the next morning, they slowly come to the realization that they’ve somehow traveled back in time to 1986. The group quickly decides that they must try to perfectly recreate their original experience so that they don’t trigger a butterfly effect that would cause harm to the future. However they’re quickly overcome by the temptation to right past wrongs.

Hilarity ensues.

There are a lot of elements that are reminiscent of Back to the Future. However, the presence of Crispin Glover permits me to think these things were lovingly referenced instead of blatantly ripped off.

There were definitely things I didn’t like. The love interest seemed paper thin and anytime there’s a time travel movie, there are a hundred little plot points that you could nitpick, but at the end of the day there were quite a few laughs and a good little story that focuses on the importance of friendship.

650,000,000 edmontonians out of 1,000,000,000

Hot Tub Time Machine doesn’t open until March 26^th but you can get free passes by visiting http://eventful.com/campaigns/hottub/edmonton. I signed up and had my tickets emailed to me within 30 minutes but I’ve heard of other people taking up to 12 hours to get theirs. I went to the City Centre screening and the theatre was only about 70% full.

The ESO got to take the spotlight for two pieces; Haydn‘s Symphony No. 88 in G Major and Stravinsky‘s Symphony of Wind Instruments (1947), the latter of which, of course, featured only the woodwinds and brass.

I will admit to raiding iTunes for versions of everything to be played Saturday. This gave me a sense of what I was to hear.

Seeing the ESO play, however, gave me what the music was really about.

I especially felt this in the opening symphony from Haydn. There was more energy in the piece than my iPod had shown. I think some of this was thanks to conductor William Eddins bouncing and happily moving at the most exciting parts.

But the symphony really pushed this music out to the corners of the Winspear. The 3rd movement’s swells, and calls and answers, brought out this energy and I could feel it in my chest. Even one of the trumpet players, when not engaged in the music, was quietly swaying and bopping his head.

Eddins is nothing if not able to work a crowd. He was sure to include some timely Olympic jokes and references in his conversation with the audience. He got a round of applause when telling the story of Slovenian skier who broke four ribs and collapsed a lung but still won a bronze medal. He got laughs when trying to update us on the games, finding only a never-ending curling match on TV.

He got more, polite, laughs when he had to leave the stage before Stravinski’s Wind Instruments because he had forgotten his music. It worked out, putting a smile on people’s faces before a grimmer piece of music. As the ESO describes it: “The work’s unusual scoring lends the work certain steely edge – as does the use of the many silences throughout its brief duration.”

Indeed, this was not music for everyone’s ears or tastes. The brass and woodwind players seemed pleased to have performed it for us and took their final bow of the night with smiles of their own.

They left the stage, and the strings returned for the final piece of the night, Piazzolla‘s Four Seasons of Buenos Aries.

Karen Gomyo (Photo: ESO)

But, I’ve gotten just a bit ahead of myself. Before the intermission there was also a Bartok piece called Rhapsody No. 1 for Violin and Orchestra. This was where the ESO audience got their first listen of the evening of the guest violinist, Karen Gomyo.

Gomyo’s everything the ESO could want in a guest performer. She’s young, world-renowned, attractive, plays a rare Stradivarius and, more specifically for a local symphony, she’s Canadian. She was born in Japan and moved to Montreal as a child.

My first bit of Googling turned up this blog about Gomyo’s violin, the Stradivarius known as “ex-Foulis.” I like that she’s plunking it in the overhead bin when she’s on an airplane.

And clearly the owner of the violin, whom we know only as a “private sponsor,” wanted such an instrument in the hands of an equally stunning beauty.

The interplay between Gomyo and conductor William Eddins was a treat to watch. I found it echoed the Bartok piece, which had some sounds of joy but with a constant seriousness. She would smile, or almost-smile, at points, but retain a concentrated look. Eddins too would smile, but return his focus to the orchestra. The two were having fun, but gave the music their full respect.

While the Bartok piece had its more formal tone, the Four Seasons of Buenos Aries was music of culture and passion. For those savvy about such things (Again, I had to download everything for a first listen.), it does play off Vivaldi‘s Four Seasons at certain points. That’s thanks to the man who arranged this version, Russian composer Leonid Desyatnikov. Most notably the “winter” and “summer” of Vivaldi are found in the opposite of Piazzolla, referencing Argentine and Italian seasons.

The worldly air is not missed in the music. It has European feel, yet encompasses much of the tango-infused Argentina of the writer, Astor Piazzolla.

This piece is where I was assured I hadn’t thought too much of the exquisite violin or the player. This final performance of the night elicited whispers of “Wow,” “Amazing,” and “Impressive,” from those seated around me in the orchestra level. Those whispers transformed to an almost instant burst of applause as the final notes of Buenos Aries trailed. Now the mention of Gomyo’s fantastic abilities were said aloud, though paled in volume to the noise of the standing ovation.

The best part of reviewing such an amazing musician, and evening, is not that I get to tell you about how great it was. The best part is that Karen Gomyo is not waiting another two years to return to Edmonton.

As Eddins announced to the crowd Saturday, Gomyo will be back to open the ESO’s next season at their Symphony Under the Sky. She will be playing Brahams one evening and participating in music of movies the next. If her enthusiasm during Four Seasons of Buenos Aries is anything, I know her performance of the tango from “Scent of a Woman” will fill Edmonton hearts with passion this September long weekend.

—–

This was premiere ESO performance of two pieces; the Symphonies of Wind Instruments and Four Seasons of Buenos Aries.

You don’t have to wait for Karen Gomyo and ex-Foulis to return to hear more tango-infused passion from the ESO, they’ve got “Musica Latina” on March 21.